Viet Nam ... and its reigonal delights

HANOI
Starting from the North i didn't i really didn't know what to expect. Word was northern cuisine.. was lets say... bland and somewhat boring. After venturing around the old quarter and sampling the food i sadly have to agree. So to conquer that we opted to eat at a restaurant called Quan An Ngon... (delicious restaurant) i know i know what a name right.. but hey it was a pretty decent restaurant.If street food is a bit intimidating and your not keen on sitting on a toilet because of it.. this is the place for you. Street food from around Viet Nam minus the sore tummy. With dishes ranging from:papaya salad with dry beef, bun rieu, pho, bun bo hue, com tam, goi cuon.. the all star favorites at a tight wad price.. need you eat anywhere else?

NINH BINH, PU LUONG NATIONAL PARK (MAI CHAU)
Not only is this place breath taking with the luscious rice fields, mountains,waterfalls the kindness of the locals here matches its beauty. You wont find this place in any guide/ tourist books making it rarely touched by us tourists. Its a rare sight to see in this quickly developing country this region hasn't been bastardized by Americana burgers, spaghetti and sushi. The ethnic minorities that reside there live off the land, and dinner was whatever that was growing/walking in the garden.
We got to this hidden gem by motorbike as there were no roads, otherwise this place would of been flocked with hand sanitizing tourists. Every child who sees you squeals with delight as you pass them screaming "hello!" and waving to you. The electricity that they do have is generated by turbines powered by the rushing waterfall.
Once a week there would be a local market, so Sunday dinners would be a treat for the locals here. Our first dinner was, free range chicken sauteed with noodles and morning glory, free range egg omlette, and pumkin soup (straight out of the garden) The eggs were bright yellow and rich as butter, these chickens were more than happy before they hit the pot. Living in Australia and eating generic chicken.. you forget what it actually tastes like. It was a real treat to us expats but just another meal for our host family.

HUE
Land of the ancient Kings and Queens the food was really starting to get good, before the revolution the Citadel (Viet Nam's equivalent of Versailles back in its hayday) was home for the royal family and the food in this region was well.. pardon the pun fit for a king. Till this very day the Hue residents take their food seriously and try to preserve their culture as much as possible. Now the one dish that pops into your mind when your here is bun bo hue.. well when in Rome. Being a bun bo fiend myself it drove me insane that i was only there for one day. The bun bo hue was sex in a bowl, the broth fiery hot and aromatic as it should be. The pork and beef that was floating in the broth was tender and flaky, again no animal here is couped up neck to neck, it was served with a Hue cha (peppered pork loaf) wrapped in a pretty parcel of banana leaf.

Greeting from Hanoi

My mornings begin with a crow from a rooster, and the honking of passing motorbikes and cars. Three days into my journey of Vietnam, and let me tell you if i can find that rooster and make Pho Ga out of it, my Hanoi adventure would be close to perfect.
People scattered along the streets perched on their little plastic chairs and dripping coffee, would make any smuck from the west green with envy. They sit, chatter and gossip about anything worth talking about while the word passes them by, to your left you have the 'noodle lady with her boiling pot of broth, and cuts of meats that would make any health inspector cringe, and to your right you have a man with colorful bottles of soda pop with infested ice to chill the midday sun. Hey its Vietnam and they dont give a rats A** about food handling mambo jumbo and if you're going to be a traveler and not a tourist neither should you.
No I'm not telling you to put yourself at risk, if a sip of local ice is going to put you in the toilet for the rest of your trip then, go to the restaurants named 'ladybird' etc and eat the same old s*** you would be eating at home. There are dozens of restaurants catering for homesick tourists serving up, steak and chips, American style burgers and chips..excuse the crudness but eating western food in asia is like wiping your behind before you go to the toilet.
Call me a cowboy or just damn crazy, but i love street food and forever it shall be. Some of the most lip smackingly tastest things ive ever eaten have come from a seedy looking street stall, and i've survived to tell the tale. Just for precaution bring along Probiotica...my little magic pills full of happy bacteria to combat the nasty ones. See the country experience the joys it has to offer, and do try the food.. the real food of the people that live there. Ease your body into the new food, slowly introduce your body to the shock, dont go kamakaze and go drinking the tap water.. i dont think any amount of conditioning will get your body for that shock. So for the Guide for S.E.A noobs...
FOOD TIPs
1. NO TAP WATER... duhh... skys blue, grass green dont drink local water
2. Do not eat copious amounts of shell fish in one sitting .. no matter how fresh
3. If there are stacks of locals chowing down at the restauant... its usually a good indicator
4.Buy your own knife and cut your own fruits...(people are bound to cut themselves...better it be your blood than someone else's)
5. (restaurants) Always ask for the price before parking your behind on a seat, 3rd world countries think tourist are millionares.. so the might be a chance of the price being jacked up,sad but true poverty is real. so unless you want to get stung with a disguisting bill ALWAYS ASK!!
GENERAL RULES (COMMON SENSE)
1. familiarise yourself with local laws(curfew), spending time in a seedy jail for the duration of your trip is worse than a poo pie.
2.when buying things from the market cut the asking price by 50% if they still dont budge... do it like craig david and *walk away... they will call for you back.
3. Dont always go to places your hotel reccomends, they're usually 'toursisty' places go off the beaten track, who knows what you might find.
4. Dont go wearing your a jewels/ or things of value, again its a 3rd world country..unless your chuck norris.. thats a different story.
5. Research on the repitible taxi companies that operate in the area, there are ALOT of dodgy taxi's around just dying to rip you off.

Quaff in Toorak..

Quaff in Toorak, screams location location! Nestled neatly on 436 Toorak road dining here in the middle of summer is a picturesque affair. Inside Dripping with chandeliers and grand mirrors give it tasteful charm.

On this particular afternoon the mid-day sun was gleaming and had an adverse affect on staff. Food was a touch slow in coming out, luckily sitting outside destracted our grumbly tummies.

When our starters came (minus the cuttlery) I was ready to dig into my simple yet well dressed caeser salad. Most caesar salads come soaked in dressing so my fears was pleasantly answered. A gooey golden yolk dressed the cos lettuce and gave it a rich creamy flavor, no mayo here ladies and gents. It was also served with thin slices of salty robust jamon or spec. The crutons lacked major crunch and was the only let down of the salad.

If hearning corned beef rings alarm bells and images of cans swamp your mind this dish was plated to please. A plentiful mound of velvety smooth potato mash, and crunchy sauteed cabbage was a classic side for the corned beef. The corned beef was well seasoned and was not overbarinly salty. The sweet mustard seed jux was very sweet lip puckering almost and masked most of the flavors of the dish if too much was on your fork.

Hooray for tasting plates i love surpluss and variety always will. The quad glory consisted of vanilla panacota, creamy and silky it was complimented well with a berry coulis. The dry choclolate cake was a space filler, drenched with custard which didnt stand up to the sweetness of the cake. What looked like a upright oyster mushroom was a lemon soufle, fluffy and fragrant shamelessly earnt its place ont he plate. To finish off a poached pear again another spot filler, two out of four your neither up or down. The pear had a crunchy textrure, but lacked the floral aroma and taste of the ruby red juices it was poached in (possibly red wine)

The salad and corned beef was what was up for grabs on the lunch specials menu. Good value for money for those residing in those parts of town, or a secial lunch with mates for us students. Despite me having to get up to find a waitor to take our orders for dessert, overall service was okay Quaff has clean cut flavors in luxurious surroundings,it showcases mediterranean flavours in a fun and creative style. If your ever in this nose rise part of town pop by and find a seat outside to have your lunch.

Edibility rating 6/10

all aboard the steamboat

Its winter, your cold hungry and have a few mates to feed... what to do? the answer Steam boat like duh... there's something so comforting about this wonderful creation, and for those who aren't too familiar this steam boat jibby jabber here's the 411. Its the equivalent of the Japanese shabu shabu, however filled to the brim with other ingredients. If your a glutton like me having 5/6 different ingredients to chomp on for dinner is just bliss. All the ingredients are served raw on different plates and are cooked in the simmering broth. The broth is one of the main components of this dish and can be varied depending on your taste(vegetarian,chicken,seafood). Personally because I'm such a creature of habit, my default broth is tom yum! The spice and zest works perfectly with the seafood. As you continue to eat the broth does its own magic trick and develops into the most rich flavor as it boils down, and the lucky fool who arrives late to dinner gets to benefit from this. when everything is out on the table its all hands on deck, every man for themselves beware thieving poops (your mates)who take your food out of the broth when your not watching.

Check List...
*portable gas stove..
*fairly large but shallow saucepan
*Egg noodles of your choice
*rice noodles " "
*bok choy, napa cabbage
*550 gr topside beef/ slice thinly
*500gr baby squid
*600gr prawns
* your choice of fish balls
*enoki mushrooms

The broth(the lazyboy way)
1.5 litres Chicken stock
* small can tinned pineapples
*2 tomatos chopped n quartered
*3 tbsp tom yum paste..

The broth (amateur cook way)
*2 chicken carcass
*2 medium sized carrots
*1 large onion cut in half
*Put all of the above into a pot of water and simmer for 1hr skim off the 'scum' (floaty bits on top) Then....
add, the tom yum paste and tomatoes, and tinned pineapple.

Nigella inspired recipes

Nigella Lawson now she is in some ways England's very own Martha Stewert, minus the jail time of course. With gorgeous curves like her, you can tell she is a fiend to her chocolate cakes, unctuous puddings and feel good dinners. Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin well who am i to argue, she eats sexy food and she is sexy.. make sense? Her recipes are no fuss, and dare i say for the lazy cook.

If anyone has seen any of her series she they'd know that she does not p'fart around in the kitchen. With all of us being retardedly busy we should all take a page out of Ms Lawsons book. Be it sunshine or rain she always has a recipe that will compliment the day, a few that really struck my fancy was her watermelon salad w feta & olives, thin slices of salmon in a dark sweet soy w grated ginger and spring onions, 'anglo-asian lamb salad' and the sinful Nutella cake...

So in homage to her recipes here are a few of my own with a bit of a twist.

Watermelon salad, with feta and olives
half watermelon, 250gr Feta cheese, handful of olives, mint or parsley (either works good), olive oil 3/4 Tbsp (optional) roasted pistachio as garnish 150gr, lemon sugar
*Thinly slice onion and soak in lemon juice,zest and sugar dressing.
*Cube watermelon and put into a large serving bowel and crumble over feta.
*halve or slice olives
*low heat pan roast the pistachio once done put in a paper bag and crush with a bottom of a mug if you dont have a rolling pin =p
*add olive oil to the soaked onions and juices, mix together and pour on top of watermelon
*garnish w chopped basil or parsley

Lamb Salad
You can make this with left over lamb roast, or if you weren't lucky enough to have it the night before go out and buy lamb loin instead.
350/450gr lamb loin, packet rocket leaves, head of cos lettuce, mint, 1small packet glass noodles, 4 tbsp fish sauce,chopped deseeded small chilli,half lime, 2 tbsp sugar,4 tbsp water
*season lamb with salt and pepper sear over a grill pan or normal pan if you dont have one 5 min per side depending on preferred 'doneness' *cough* med rare ** rest meat before slicing
*soak glass noodles boiling water from kettle
* make a bed of rocket leaves and chopped cos lettuce (bite size)
*make a dressing with the fish sauce,chilli, lime, sugar and water (this dressing recipe is just a guide you can adjust it to your liking depending on whether ur a sweet or salty kida cat)
*rule of thumb though... balance is the key
*cut glass noodles in half drain and lay onto of lettuce
*thinly slice lamb and scatter on to the noodles and drizzle over w dressing
*garnish with mint leaves

Soba noodles with seared salmon
This is a twist on hybrid between nigella and Nobu's recipe(and my own of course), and is for those who are a bit squeamish on raw fish
400/500 gr fresh salmon, half cup of olive oil, small knob of ginger,1 spring onion, 2 tbsp dark soy, 3tbsp** this soba noodle sauce is what i always use and works really well with the salmon you can get it at most asian grocers , cant read japanese read the ingredients at the back if it has soy,dashi,mirin your set!!, soba noodles, long grated zucchini, long grated carrot
*thinly slice salmon and place on plate, grate small amounts of ginger over and garnish with spring onions
*boil water and add in the zucchini and carrot 30/4o seconds before the noodles are done, drain well add soba dressing according to taste.
*make a dressing with dark soy and soba dressing and spoon evenly over salmon
*heat oil until almost smoking and drizzle hot oil over the salmon slightly cooking it
*enjoy the samlon together with the noodles

Nutella cake
This is the extremely lazy boy way of making this Nutella cake but it works and even the most novice of bakers can make this.
1 packet of instant cake mix ** white wings etc, 200/300 grams hazelnuts ,jar nutella, whipped /clotted cream/hazelnut ice cream ** you decide
*prepare cake mix according to instructions cool and cut in half
*spread nutella on both layers of the cake use as much or as little as u like
* roast the hazel nuts on a low heat,crush **not too fine give it crunch!! and sprinkle over the nutella
*put the cake together slice and serve with your choice of cream or ice cream =]

F*** junk food!!

Living in Dandenong we’re a motley crue of flavors from around the world. We’re known for being the most culturally diverse nest, but yet we’re still calling each other chingas, niggers and wogs (derogatory or not). So whom are we hating on nowadays? , I do wonder. There’s an interesting trend we follow. Believe it or not, we always hate the new guy.

Isn’t that how its always been? When the first European immigrants landed all those moons ago, they certainly didn’t get the red carpet treatment. Next up in line were the refugees from Vietnam , Cambodia, our friends from the Middle East ,war torn western Europe and not to mention Sudan and Nigeria. They came to Australia for all sorts of reasons war, famine … heard it all before? There is a reason, I promise.

It’s fair to say our immigrant forefathers came with piss all, but they bought their language, teachings, culture and, yes my friends, the food, the oh so glorious food.
Black, white, brown, yellow, pink, purple, rainbow, I don’t care what colour your skin is we all eat. We all eat to live and for some we live to eat. Our forefathers all came with recipes of home: pho, chevapi, borsch, hor fun. If you’re thinking what the hell are those? Then its time to try something different the next time you’re out. ‘Eat outside the box’, who knows? You might even like it, heaven forbid. How dare we call ourselves culturally diverse if we’re not even willing to try the food? They’re baby steps to embracing others cultures, not to mention improving our health.

When the million dollar question arises, is it what did we do wrong? Or should it be, what are we doing wrong? So when its time to venture off on our own what is it that we are eating? We are heading towards the golden arches and the smiling Colonel Sanders and his saturated, artery-clogging chicken. Ok, so we are time poor, why does this have to mean a poor diet as well? an So ok I’ll spare you the whole ‘junk food is bad for you’ lecture and say that it’s not only our health that’s at risk, its our culture as well. How many times have you seen someone scrunch up his or her nose at trying something new?

MacDonald’s in most parts of town have literally stood the test of time and watched other family run businesses get squashed under its giant corporate foot. They’re making money off our increasing waistlines and sky rocketing sugar and cholesterol levels. Hey there’s nothing an insulin shot, diet pill and proactive** cant fix. Go to most cafeterias around Dandenong especially in the industrial areas and see what they’re serving up. The usual suspects of course, fried pieces of mystery meat, pies (mystery meat), sausages (mystery meat), chiko rolls, fried dim sim, oh and don’t forget the vegetables the potato chips and ‘onion’ rings. Two doors down at another Café the same deal.

This is what’s selling day in and out and yet we complain about how ‘healthier options’ are more expensive, demand and supply. Our love of fast food has embarrassingly earned us the title of the fattest country, finally something we’ve surpassed the Americans with
Is that our food culture? Sure a burger is great but who wants to meet the cow it came from.

This is us, were ignorant to where our food has come from and with the increasing popularity of GM foods what the hell does seasonal produce mean anyway? We are losing ourselves to the fish and chips, charcoal chicken, red rooster and hungry jacks bandwagon. A whopping 55 % of Dandenong’s inhabitants are born overseas and coming from 150 or so countries we should be ashamed of our eating choices.

Why does eating well come with the stigma of diets? And why does knowing what’s good to eat have to do with being food ‘savvy’ or whatever that’s supposed to mean. There are grey skies ahead if we keep on associating eating well as a ‘class’ privilage. We teach sex education at school because we deem it as an importance to us, why don’t we learn about food?

We’re meant to eat three square meals a day, maybe then we wont be so ignorant towards food and make better choices. Food won’t be so intimidating and strange and might even encourage us to see what our neighbours are having for dinner every night. Keeping an open mind and stomach never seemed to do any harm.

No you wont not find the meat lovers special in the streets of Sicily nor will you find sweet and sour chicken in a local’s home in Beijing. Food has gone through such transformations through out time to suite our changing pallets and declining standards. Ditch the fries and burgers, and if you are that much of a fried food fan, try crispy fried noodle combination, or a falafel or vegetable samosa. At least it has some aspect of authenticity and is made of real vegetables and meat. Support local businesses and protect our culture and keep it running through the generations.

The 60’s are over and long gone the hippies, but tolerance should be everlasting even if it’s only showing it through food. Instead of choosing the drive through option, go down to your local shops and see what there is sample. Sit down, have a meal that takes u longer than five minutes to devour, and that actually requires cutlery. Before you say “ew” to something you’ve never tried before, next time your munching on a quarter pounder, have a think about what the little brown patty is made of. Or the supposed’ chicken’ nuggets from red rooster. Yes friends the truth is scary and disgusting. Do it like Bourdain and have ‘no reservations’ on exploring unchartered waters.

In the words of Mr Lennon lets ‘come together’ (pardon the cheese) they say ignorance is bliss but is it really? How long are we going to sit around and watch our heritages and not to mention health disintegrate right before our eyes? Eating food from our peers countries, be they friend or foe wont be the solution to our long list of problems nor will it bring on world peace and make us all love each other and live in harmony. However it’s not a bad way to start, let’s face it reality is a bitch but prevention is way better than a cure.

Pho for the soul

For the die hard Pho Bo fans they need look no further than Pho Hung in Springvale Central. They cater for any offal enthusiast and sliced chicken or beef for the novice. The typical Pho Bo comprises of the aromatic broth, silky long noodles, and choice of meat. Pho Hung’s broth is steamy and sumptuous as it arrives at your table at impressive speed might I add. Delicious melt in your mouth morsels of meat give this light dish body enough to satisfy even the most monstrous appetites.
As with any other rock star food on the go, it comes with its own condiments. Crispy, cold bean shoots to add a delectable subtle crunch with every mouthful, and bright green aromatic basil leaf to add to the glory. As strange as it may seem to put funky colored sauces into your soup, let it be said without them would be like having a piece missing from a jigsaw puzzle.
Pho Hung is were I began my love affair with satay/chilli oil. With a sauce so good there is bound to be a meter long list of ingredients but hey who cares its delicious. It goes without saying eating Pho is an interactive affair. Once the bowls make a safe landing all hands are on deck to create their very own masterpiece. Its quite amusing seeing hands dart around to gather sauces and condiments.
There’s no right or wrong in constructing your Pho, go for life! After a few trials and errors you’ll begin to work out, how much happiness you can fit into your bowl. Just as a guideline for the novice South East Asian cuisine is renowned for its balanced flavors.
A complete meal in a bowl makes it an awesome substitute for the demeaning burger and chips. Definitely a meal for the lads and lassies, easy on the waistline of the ladies and boys buff it up with an upsize.
Come the weekend if a full house isn’t enough to say how good these guys do it here then I don’t know what does. Its a small restaurant and sometimes you have to carefully duck and weave through the tables,but for just as little at $7 .50 a pop how can you go wrong? Eating in springvale is like Russian roulette, be assured Pho Hung is definitely not going to disappoint, just ask the locals the ‘real’ critics.



edibility rating >>8/10<<